Poem: I DON'T care:

I DON'T CARE...

by Destiny Monroe OftenImitated-NeverDuplicated on Sunday, September 11, 2011 at 8:48pm

So much within me trying to escape the perils that have chased me throughout this lifetime. Yearning to catch a break. To breathe for a moment and to think for myself. How did I get here? I remember at a young age, praying to God to place the trials of the world on my shoulders. I desired to be like Jesus. The most perfect specimen I know. Hair of wool, heart of gold. I had no idea that the world could be so cold, but it was. Death surrounded me, whereever I went. Lack of love, lack of discipline. No parental figures within my own or in the system. Felt like I had no one to listen. However, God continuously shed his light of love on me. AGAPE. I have yet to feel another like it. Honestly, i've grown to accept that I never will. &Because I am quite sure that I won't, I don''t want anything like it. I don't want conterfeit, 'cas I don't give it. I give everything with truth. You ask and I answer honestly. You can't break what's already been broken. Or placed through the fire what's been sat in it to be molded. Went through so much for so long, i'm beginning to think God forgot about me. However, he constantly reminds me; that in me he sees greatness and expects nothing less. I won't give him less. A being that has loved on me as wonderously and as perfectly as no other. Siblings are a disgrace to me. Constantly taking turns to add more misery to my life than what they percieve it to be, when in all truth my life is GREAT. I wake up everyday with the intentions of making the best of it. &I do. I make the lives of others reasonably easier. &I remain stable due to that. There are times when they shine so bright that not even the stars in the Heavens can match them.Yet & still it's rare & if ever I witness it, it's only 1. My parents still look to me to parent them.This has been the case since my adolesence. &Frankly, i've grown tired of it. Of unreliable family, irresponsible men, and fairweather friends. So, i've turned off MY ability to care &now i'm the bitch. Luckily for me, I really don't care. Something that might come across as a rant, reaches a few as some real shit. &Real recognizes real. I'm acting out, i'm showing my ass. This is something that I need to do for me &IT FEELS GOOD. My answer will be NO to almost everything. FOR me to be able to maintain my joy, I must be able to say NO and be happy. &Honestly, that's what i'll be doing is saying NO and if you don't like it. I don't care. For now on, I won't give you the benefit of the doubt. For now on, i'm taking you as you are. &That is for whom you show yourself to be. You can either love me or hate me. Either way, I don't care.